A Simpli Splendiferous Adversaria

October 21, 2006

La Pagar Kajira by twinklev/ellaj

La Pagar Kajira

by twinklev/ellaj

Without forced, mislead intentions
Entrusting was his heart
Nothing ventured, nothing gained
Unless sincerity tore it apart

 

Bridges burned, abandoned
Embracing a future anew
Stepping over piles of rubble
Took on another view

 

Finding contentment and solace
That some had torn away
Strength, support and conviction
Tamed sorrow for another new day

 

He knew passion and fear existed
Beneath the pains she hid so well
The afflictions inside, she expressed it
but really who could tell

 

He could lead her toward survival
She could serve with fire or ice
Submit to another tomorrow
Make the best of a challenging life

 

Grow with determined ambitions
Retaining a slaves pride and grace
Surrendering into his will
That ashes have come to replace

 

Obedient, imbonded, subservient,
woman, a mans truest treasure
A pleasing, passionate, firey slut

For his heavenly erotic pleasure

 

Maybe in his chains and at his mercy
Perhaps once, a preconceived idea
Still nothing but a Gorean pleasure slave

 

La pagar kajira

©2006 twinklev/ellaj   
    Unauthorized duplication and distribution is prohibited.  
Copyright Laws and Regulations 

Dance of Seduction by twinklev/ellaj/caliente

Dance of Seduction by twinklev/ellaj/caliente

The girl moves back from the master, pushing back on hands to stand to dainty feet. The beat of her heart skipping, the flutters in her belly rising, long auriferous tendrils wild spirals raining down lightly bronzed shoulders. Long fingers begin to trail along her tummy, lightly, teasingly, her head tilts to the side, the ends of blonde curls grazing budding adorned nipples, she breathes in slow, yet steadily, she yearns for his touch, his voice commanding her will, her palms cupping aching full breasts as they rise and fall, curvaceous hips begin to undulate seductively, fingers brush through her hair as her arms reach to rise high above her head, crossing at the wrists, as if to be bound by binding fiber. 

Dark eyes lift towards the sky, her knees weak and bending slightly, she turns away from him, but within his grasp, her ass, the curves of her back, spine, naked, in his sight, belly rolling, the drums in the back ground, her body snaps to the beat, the kaska, soft, she gasps out, arms drop suddenly as she bends forward, fingers between her legs, her inner thighs, the bareness of her skin, her ass swirls in slow entincing circles before him, she stands, spirals wild now,

she turns to changing tempos, her nakedness serving the air, as if becoming one with it, surrendering, she closes her eyes, oh god she murmers beneath her breath, girl needs him, she’s going to have him, thoughts flying, she must please him, make him want her, she lets out a soft whimper as her lower body rides the invisible waves as if making love to it, heat flowing, passion rising, fire tingling ,embers, volcanic eruptions of rapid heart beat, skipping, quickening, she hears the sound of her own voice as she moans.

Luring, cocoa colored orbs revealing the secrets of her intimate soul rise, she does not dare meet his eyes, lowering deep brown occulars, her neck rolls from left to right, hands again finding the lushness of her chest, baby fingers dipping into the silverish captive beaded loops, she tugs, oh!

Her feet pivot onto the ground, her toes rising and falling, the balls of her feet spinning her as she turns to her side, her left hand resting on a single cheek of rounded ass, her right pressed lightly to her slave belly, Light mohagany skin glistening as the dim light of the tharlarion oil lamps flicker about. Lusciously jeweled mounds thrust forward, as her spine arches before him, her hands reaching out as if to grab him to her, begging and pleading, a braceleted wrist rises to trace deliciously puckered lips, grazing them, her mouth quivers, a sultry gaze lifts, he can read her soul, dark chocolately orbs burning with desire, bright, twinkling, ebony lashes flutter lightly, a salaciously glossed pout of pink curl into a shining smile, radiant, alive, as she dances, giving her everything, showing him everything, sluttishly nude freshness twirls her need for him as he watches with intent interest. Chain dangling low on her hips, accenting her curves.

The flutes, mm, she becomes lost, her body snakes, slow, ravishing, tu-toned locks of blonde and dark brown layer and bounce about her flushing cheeks, arms wrapping around her tense tummy, succulent lips purse, as an almost silent helpless whine slips from her vocal chords, parting involuntarily as if to submit to his own hard mouth against hers, she trembles, skin clammy with heat, moist pink tongue gliding along ripe full lips. Loose ringlets flirt raining to the small of her back as her head rocks backwards, exposing her collared neck, locked, symbolic of her ownership. Slave bells melodious playing in shaking clings together like a tambourine affixed to her left ankle, bina’s encircled together with hemps hugging her close reminders of her slavery, and the beauty of ownership, being owned completely, all of her, all that she is, all that she was, all that she will be.

Gifted pieces, earned, begged for, hers, until the master chooses otherwise. Her will embraced, mind rushing, she cries out starved for his affections. Hands up and down her sides, her own touch, tingling, invisioning his, rapture. The nearly whispered word, master echoes from unsteady voice, her breath sporadic, eyes close, as she tries to get hold of herself, she can’t, she wants him, arms extending forward palms raised facing the heavens, in total submission, fingers twirling in, towards her own body, but also challenging him to her, she whines inside her head, her hands soliciting an urgency, drawing, provoking, suggestive, propositioning, un-deniable supplication, nearly silent pleas bespeaking, a please, come here! Inner torment begins to fill her.

Round mounds, firm, yet jiggling softly, sweet candy to his eyes. The light upon her skin revealing flawless, exquisite flesh, rounded hips undulating with a quickness to the pounding kaska, noting the faint plucking of the kalika from time to time, her forefinger of the left lifts poking between her lips almost forcibly, submitting to the digit, a soft hungry suck, as her lips wrap firmly around it, arm drops another whimper escapes, hips grinding in harmony, emotions rise like a wild fire, speading, hot, continuing, soaring, heavy searing roaring winds carrying a fierce firey prurient concupiscent aroused beast towards freedom, total freedom in slavery.

oh god, the beast cries out, as she falls to his feet, her knees weak, her thighs tight. Between them moist, dewy flavors of slut need apparent, the melody slows, her cheek brushes against his right ankle, higher, breathing in deeply his scent, begging silently with the sign language of a girl luring the master to use her, abuse her, take her for his pleasure, the pleasures of others, she lays lingering kisses to his foot, calf, ahh, she moans, she doesn’t raise her lips above his knee, her head drops to the top of his foot, as the rapid racing heart begins to return to normal, though the fire intense growing, growing, her own slave scent in the midst now, she moans into his ankle in waiting.

~La pagar kajira
© 2006 twinklev  Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. May be used by permission and with viewable credit to author.

She has also written under the more common psudonym’s ellaj, ellajC, caliente, salacious surrender, and simpli salacious slut.

Coercive Persuasion- Surviving RSD by twinklev

Coercive Persuasion
(Surviving RSD)
by twinkleEKV

Many of us struggle through our day to day lives. Some of us struggle to live and some of us struggle to get by. Each a survival of a different kind and with different meaning. I cannot express enough that life holds many risks that carries with it just as many downfalls as there are the upswings where happiness flows through it all. And it will, if you allow it to. I believe life is what you make it. Life has to be what I make it to be. No, I cannot snap my fingers and magically produce a miracle or suddenly make the rent get paid simply because I want it to be paid. It has to come from somewhere. We have to work for what we want and need and if we think it’s rough, it probably is, if we believe in ourselves enough to go forth and make rough better, we will. Survival! I have finally come to accept that my future is not going to be what I had hoped for. The dreams I had as a child have already passed me by, the dreams I had as an adult are dangling in a possible and not possible zone. I think that many people let life pass them by. They take for granted a tomorrow that one day may never come. 7 years ago, I thought I had the rest of my life. I was working, I had goals of my own, goals to reach with my Master, goals and dreams to live out with my children. When I say the rest of my life, I mean to say, live atleast until I’m 65. Having been informed recently of a 4th stage of RSD, a stage that not all doctors agree upon, yet still exists even if it were to be tossed into stage 3. My hope now is that I live to 50. That would let me see my only son turn 21 and my daughters reach 30. That would give me 12 years to be all I can be. Not much time, but enough to spread a few words of wisdom and tell others to never give up. Palms up turned in service to all. To everyone. If your kids need to eat, feed them. If your wife needs your hand, slip it between her palm, if your mom needs to hear your voice, call her. If your dad needs an I love you tell him. If your daughter needs her mom, let her know you’re there. If your son needs a hug, hug him! Let those you love, know! Never forget to love yourself. If happiness is nil, look for those little things that bring it. Use it to make others around you happy. A happy home maker makes for a happy family. Some of us live with various forms of Cancer and Illnesses that progress and end in early death. We don’t want pity, but we hope for compassion. We don’t want to be treated differently, but sometimes need help. We don’t always ask for it, but we hope our partner or our children will just do so without having been asked. Often times, if not offered, we still won’t ask, and sometimes when freely given, we will decline. The optimist believes that we live in the best of all possible worlds, the pessimist believes, well, they believe it’s just a world filled with evil and misfortunes. Some believe in heaven and hell, God and satan. I do! I’ve also come to believe in all that’s been tossed my way that heaven is also what we make it, hell is simply the opposite of that heaven and purgatory might be the center of both. God is inside us, for a non-believer, god would still exist. God could be ourselves, who we are. A holy spirt for me, maybe only a spirit to the athiest. Thoughts, so many thoughts rush through my mind. Am a philosopher, I think and analyze. I critically think, I dig deep and then dig deeper. I crave knowledge. Countless hours of research. My beliefs vary and just when someone thinks they have me figured out by a pattern of previous thoughts, poof, I go the opposite direction. Does my life have value? I think so. In one sense or the other, it does. Does your life have value? Absolutely! Does your life have meaning? I’m sure meaning exists within it. Does my life even though it’s becoming minimized have meaning? Yes, it does. Let all that you are continue on with determination. When you think something cannot be achieved, think on it again, it can be. Make it be! If I was told I would without a doubt die tomorrow, I would defeat that doubt and live to see the sun rise the following day. I actually cannot wait to do so.  When an ailment has you down, get up. If you can’t get up, keep your mind up. When the affliction takes over so badly that you think you’re losing your mind and I know it does, take some deep breaths, believe in yourself. I believe in you. People tend to back away from those who are sick. It’s not that they don’t care, it’s that by you being sick, it changed their life, too. Mostly it is only that they don’t know what to say or don’t know how to interact with you any longer. Let them know how you feel, ask them how they feel, if they leave you still, let it go. Don’t let the fact that they are gone from your life, hurt you past the original hurt. It wasn’t you that failed. It’s hard for people to carry burden of any sorts. Don’t ever feel you are a burden. You aren’t! We all ended up a victim of circumstance. Circumstance changes lives. Pain is a constant reminder that we live, that we are infact alive. It’s proof that we feel and feel beyond what most ever will. It is enlightening! It broadens our minds. And God! It hurts like hell. A sudden thought- Perhaps pain is hell and heaven is the grasp we learn to have on it. Survival! Endurance! Patience! Suicidal ideations become overwhelming. The feelings of being useless, worthless, loss, lack of self esteem, helpless, but you’re not alone. Truly, you aren’t. Never give up on yourself because if you do, more than likely, everyone else will also. Be strong and others will be strong with you. Use your experiences and emotions to help and inform others. I know my words will survive me. Let yours do the same.

Don’t forget to tell people you love them and what they mean to you and don’t forget to let them love you back.

I cannot wait to stare the end in the eye and then turn around and walk away to live and survive another day.


                                                                                ~twinkle/ellajC

Optimistic Endurance by twinklev

Filed under: ,Blogroll,Simpli Slendiferous Essay's — twinklev @ 3:53 am

Optimistic Endurance
by twinklev

Do you hold onto something you know you will eventually lose or do you let go before that time ever comes? Does an object have future value if you take care of it? Do you purchase a home or vehicle even though acts of God may take them away? Or do you sell them to avoid the possiblity after becoming an owner? Do you let go of your dying family member because holding on is too hard? Do you push people away or hide from those you feel add burden to your own life? Do you water a wilting plant so that it might drink in the necessity it needs to survive? Or perhaps, you simply toss it out and bring a new fresh green and blooming one home? Can you create a work of art with your bare hands? Or do you destroy someone elses creative work because it wasn’t you who thought of the particular idea first? Does jealousy nip at you? Do you wish you had what another had? Would you trade lives with one who had less? Do you talk just to hear yourself babble or do you offer valuable or thought provoking stimulus to the conversation or discussion? Do you listen to people or turn a deaf ear unless it interests your personal agenda? Do you gossip? Are you the neighborhood loud speaker who just can’t wait to spread the next tid bit? Do you listen to gossip for the entertainment or maybe the type that doesn’t outright blast the personal information of another, but whispers it all, instead. Maybe just maybe you’re the type that listens, but doesn’t continue the forward flow. When you hear negative gossip and actually know the truth, do you stand up to the plate and say so? Or do you allow malicious tails to continue without a word. Do you follow the cliques and popular crowd because you just have to be apart of it? Or are you content outside it? Would you take a bullet for family? A friend? How about a stranger? Would you put down a suffering pet so that it would not live painful days and nights? Or would you let it continue to live in a harshful state of being. Would you terminate a child because it’s chances for survival was nil or take the chance? Would you abort conception as a form of birth control? Would you take the pain away from another person, if the possibility existed and could be achieved? Or would you just be damned glad it wasn’t you? If you had only $5 dollars left to your name and someone else was without even a penny, would you share it? Or say that you too were penniless? Would you scorn the female who was loved by more than one man or ridicule the man who was loved by more than one woman? Do you cast judgement on others, even when you yourself have done the same? Perhaps you partake in the double standard, but on the flip side dispise it. Can you walk in the shoes of another in search of greater understanding? Do you presume or assume an outcome with absolutely no evidence to support it? Can you rest in peace in the midst of chaos? Would you let another rest in peace by removing chaotic moments from them? Would you forsake one slave for another or one Master for the next? Is a man still a master if he becomes helpless to his slave? If you cherished something to the extreme would you ever let it go? Or would you hold it in your arms in a subtle embrace, guarding it, protecting it, maybe even loving it, keeping it safe and secure? Would you lose interest in that of it’s fragile state and offer, gift it, or sell it to another? Or maybe you would just break it, so that no one else may ever have ownership of it. If you thought you might lose your precious golds sometime in the future, would you hold onto it tightly or leave it freely about? If a broken slave is a worthless slave would one mans junk be another mans treasure? Do you let go of what you truly want to have and keep or let it escape in an attempt to pacify another? Or do you throw it away because it’s just become boring and worthless? If you could change the world, would you? Or only speak of changing it, while you wait for someone else to come along and do so? Maybe even bitch and complain as the other man strives to accomplish what you only dreamed of. Did you fail yourself? Did you fail others? Maybe you were the one who could have made the difference, but instead you chose to do nothing. If your black, would you adopt a white child? If your a white man, would you marry a black women? Do you see only colors in the world or can you see just one and call it heaven? A rainbow of 7, seperate, yet one. Can you change the outcome of a tormented tomorrow and let passion prevail? Can you turn sadness into a happy moment? Make a sad person smile? Can you gift the world your worth and hold your head high while enduring intense agonies? Do you let others step on you when you know you’re in the right? Can you back down when you know or learn you are wrong? Maybe you like to play the vicious cycle of revealing the confidences of others, even though you played yourself well in leading them to believe you were worthy of their trust. You might by chance be that man or women whose word is sacred, whose loyalties survive consequence, who even when pushed aside, would take a secret when living to their grave when dying. Maybe your charm lures others, just to toss them like a salad in the end. Or maybe you are the one whose spirit cannot be broken by hate or pity. Tolerance is acquired by learning and learning can only be achieved with tolerance. We are people of many backgrounds, lifestyles, cultures, and religion. Most of us here have one common denominator which has united us, yet has also seperated us from the rest in regards to the ideals in which we live. However, segregation halts growth and growth relies on being fed. Starve growth and the future begins to die. Tomorrow has to swallow the reality of today, so that it can bloom into another tomorrow. Do you teach the person who asks the questions in which to learn and grow by? Or wave your hand in dismissal because it’s not worth your time? Or instead just wait for the cooler prize from the cracker jack box to come along another day. Annoying wittle peskewy wabbits– I know, I know! Can you turn darkness into light?

                                                               If not…

… Flip a switch!

© 2006 twinklevUnauthorized duplication is prohibited. May be used by permission with viewable credit to author.

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Filed under: Blogroll — twinklev @ 2:25 am

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Facing the Storm- Pain and Mental Illness

Facing the Storm
Pain and Mental Illness
by TwinkleEKV

Mental Health, a most fascinating area of study, but are all diagnosis’ correct? A diagnosis relies on symptoms, or should I say, for a doctor to give a diagnosis, he must rely on symptoms and underlying factors before making such a determination. Can a doctors determination of said illness be based simply on assumption? How about a pre conceived idea or notion that the symptoms are obvious to a specific illness or disorder? Perhaps you know someone that experiences mood swings, altered behavior, or sudden changes in personality with bouts of highs and lows without notable warnings and you probably never even see it coming. This seems to be a tell tale sign of a widely known and diagnosed disorder and before I mention it, many of you will already know where I’m heading.

Depression is defined as sadness, gloom, dejection. A condition of feeling sad or despondent. In Psychiatry it is defined as a condition of general emotional dejection and withdrawal; sadness greater and more prolonged than that warranted by any objective reason. A disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression. In Pathology, a low state of vital powers or functional activity.

Mania is defined as excessive excitement or enthusiasm; craze. An excessively intense enthusiasm, interest, or desire. In Psychiatry, manic disorder. A manifestation of bipolar disorder, characterized by profuse and rapidly changing ideas, exaggerated sexuality, gaiety, or irritability, and decreased sleep. Violent abnormal behavior. Insanity. Excitement of psychotic proportions manifested by mental and physical hyperactivity, disorganization of behavior, and elevation of mood; specifically : the manic phase of bipolar disorder. An irrational but irresistible motive for a belief or action. A mood disorder; an affective disorder in which the victim tends to respond excessively and sometimes violently.

Lets take a look at this again. Depression equals low and mania equals high. Common sense would lead us to believe that a “normal” mood would be at the center of both and in studying mental illness and Bipolar disorder, we would be correct. Imagine a pole, any pole, even a telephone pole. At the top is mania, in the middle is an even stabalized mood and at the bottom is depression.

Lets take a peek at hypomania. A mild to moderate level of mania is called hypomania, which generally does not impair a persons daily functioning and includes an enhanced mood and productivity.

A manic depressive is called Bipolar 1, the less severe form of Bipolar 1 is Bipolar 2, who’s characteristics include hypomania, instead of full blown manic episodes and then there is Unipolar, which by definition means that there is a depressive phase only.

Hmm! Wouldn’t that simply be depression? Lets review for a moment.  Bi means two, Uni means 1. Bipolar 1 and 2 move up and down the pole, Unipolar means 1, it stays at the bottom. It’s said that mixed episodes do not exist in Bipolar 2, on the contrary, they do exist. It is but a mixed state of being, fluctuating, deflating and back again.

Have you wondered by chance where I might be going with all this? Let me introduce you to pain.

Pain is defined as physical suffering or distress, as due to injury illness, etc. A distressing sensation in a particular part of the body. Pain and ache usually refer to physical sensations (except heartache); agony and anguish may be physical or mental. Pain suggests a sudden sharp twinge. Agony implies a continuous, excruciating, scarcely endurable pain: in agony from a wound. Anguish suggests not only extreme and long-continued pain, but also a feeling of despair. A pang, twinge, stitch. afflict, torment; trouble, grieve. An unpleasant sensation occurring in varying degrees of severity as a consequence of injury, disease, or emotional disorder. Suffering or distress. A physical discomfort associated with bodily disorder (as disease or injury). A state of physical, emotional, or mental lack of well-being or physical, emotional, or mental uneasiness that ranges from mild discomfort or dull distress to acute often unbearable agony, may be generalized or localized, and is the consequence of being injured or hurt physically or mentally or of some derangement of or lack of equilibrium in the physical or mental functions (as through disease), and that usually produces a reaction of wanting to avoid, escape, or destroy the causative factor and its effects. Basic bodily sensation that is induced by a noxious stimulus, is received by naked nerve endings, is characterized by physical discomfort (as pricking, throbbing, or aching), and typically leads to evasive action. A symptom of some physical hurt or disorder. A somatic sensation of acute discomfort.

Now I’m going to propose a thought for others to think upon. When physical pain developes in a person, at some point emotional distress will take over. This is not an assumption, but fact. I don’t even need to get into information explaining the chemical imbalances that play a part in mental illness. Of course, it’s true. What I want to discuss is that when someone is in pain, acute, severe, mild to extreme, it takes so much energy inside ourselves that mental dilemma’s will develop. This can happen over a short period of time or a longer period of time. It might depend on strength, hope, the will to live, the ability to fight off the discomfort, attitude and a minimal level of stress.  Stress increases pain, pain increases instability, instability creates lack of peace of mind. Thoughts of no longer wanting to live and exist expand and increase, however, there is a difference between suicidal ideation and suicidal intent.

On a good pain day the individual may have their high, creativity, feel happiness, smile and laugh, bounce around in a positive manner, demonstrate self esteem, feel excitement, desire, feel optimistic with the emotion that “no one can hold me back”.  Mania?

On a bad pain day the person may feel hopeless, worthless, no longer have the will to live that they had on their “good pain day”. Lose hope, cry, feel agony, sadness, have no drive to get out of bed because either the physical pain or emotional pain has them beat. It is that the physical and emotional has grabbed them up once again. Depression?

On a so so day, he or she may feel fatigued, but flash a smile, hurt, but want to survive, their mood may be that of feeling “okay” considering what they endure through their day to day lives and hope flows through them. A stabalized mood? The center of that pole!

I am at the belief that pain is misunderstood and since many pain syndromes currently have no cure that many people are mis-diagnosed with a mental illness, namely Bipolar disorder as a means to justify that which cannot be accepted or explained.

I urge you all to think about this, I certainly do.

                                                                                         ~twinkle/ellaj

© 2006 twinklev – Unauthorized duplication is prohibited. May be used by permission and with viewable credit to author.

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